Kristi Muszik I am displeased
I was looking at some photos of myself and was disgusted with how I looked. I was displeased with how I looked when I watched a video of my first grandbaby’s dedication a year ago, and today, I am still in the same rut as I was last year.
I would not be looking the way I am now if I only had followed through with the opportunity in 2022 to do Octavia with a friend. Yes, I did it for six weeks and lost 18 pounds, but I didn’t follow through and gained more back.
I wouldn’t be looking like I am now if I had obeyed God and got my health in order back in 2012 when he told me to. I was only 160 pounds back then compared to my 210 pounds now.
I am so disgusted with myself as I am writing this. In the past, I would have been abusing myself by beating myself up and shaming myself, but I have come a long way in my walk with the Lord.
I hate looking at photos of myself and avoid pictures as much as I can.
Background story
I grew up as a petite person. When I was nineteen, I weighed 102 pounds at my 5-foot 4-inch height. I worked at a daycare for nine hours a day and ate small meals throughout the day. When I married a few months shy of twenty, I weighed 107 pounds. After the honeymoon, I weighed 115 pounds until I had two children and weighed 120 pounds, weighing the most at 154 at delivery.
When I hit thirty years of age, I weighed 140 pounds and got up to about 165 or so when I divorced. I lost fifteen pounds after the divorce and only had thirty pounds to lose at 150 pounds. That’s when the Lord said to start getting my health in order. I did a little bit by walking and drinking a lot of water, but then I walked away from discipline. Ten years later, I weighed 206 pounds when I started Octavia and got down to 188.
Now I am about 210 or so. I don’t have a scale to know for sure. And I turned fifty a month ago.
My mom didn’t walk a disciplined life with her health, and she ended up with diabetes and a stroke in her forties and went on to heaven at sixty -eight due to a stroke.
Walking in rebellion
First of all, I am walking in rebellion by not obeying God to get my health in order. I have come before Him to repent several times but have never made the permanent change I need to.
When the Lord asks us to do something, and we don’t follow through, we are walking in rebellion, and it’s a form of witchcraft, according to the bible, which opens the door for the enemy to have havoc with our health.
I had shown the fruit of loving food – sugar mostly – more than loving God. I had let sugar be the god in my life. I went to sugar as a comfort rather than to God as a source of comfort.
1 Samuel 15:23
“For rebellion is as [serious as] the sin of divination (fortune-telling), And disobedience is as [serious as] false religion and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,…. (AMP)
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim (household good luck images). Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,…. (AMPC)
To go against what you are told is like the sin of witchcraft. Not to obey is like the sin of worshiping false gods. You have turned away from the Word of the Lord….(NLT)
I kept saying tomorrow..
…I will start changing and make a life of discipline with my health. Well, twelve years later, I haven’t. Yes, there were times I did little discipline, like when I did the Octavia and some fasting. Oh, did I feel amazing doing those times,
Wake up call
What is going to be my wake-up call? Do I want something to happen to my health distractedly to cause me to have a wake-up call, or do I want to obey God and avoid a wake-up call? The disgusting feeling I see when I see photos of me can be my wake-up call. Being unable to bend down and clip my toes can be my wake-up call. What I saw my mom go through can be my wake-up call. Cancer that has robbed friends’ health and even life can be my wake-up call. Wanting to be healthy for me and my family can be a wake-up call.
A precious person in my life, due to their experience watching their mother go to heaven before her time due to their poor decision with their health, offered to pay for me to see a doctor to help me. So, I am taking some home shots to give me the boost, but It’s the lifestyle that I need to change to make it work.
Love and forgive myself
As I take the personal decision to transition to a healthy lifestyle, it’s essential to first love and forgive myself. Equally important is seeking the Lord’s forgiveness through true repentance, a commitment to make a complete 180-degree turn, distancing myself from the sins I once entertained, and walking in obedience to the Lord.
The Lord has instructed me to follow guidelines to live a healthy lifestyle, and I will share them in the next health post. My Health Plan
My Friend, what is your health journey? You may not be overweight, but what healthy guidelines have the Lord led you to live by to keep yourself strong and live long?
Disclaimer: I am not in the health or medical profession. This is a writing based on my health journey. You have to receive the final information through your research and doctor.
